


Ravenlight

by HandsOfGold



Category: Powerwolf (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 01:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandsOfGold/pseuds/HandsOfGold
Summary: A night that was different from all the nights before.





	Ravenlight

It was just another night like the ones before, he tried telling himself in front of the strange yet familiar mirror in his strange yet familiar bathroom. But he knew he was lying to himself, his hands were trembling lightly. It was a night that was different from all the nights before.

Before had been cramped, small spaces, the need to be silent, suppressing the urge to scream. Drunkenness, the smell of sweat and sex, falling asleep uncomfortably close behind a hiding curtain surrounded by people, people and more people, nestled to a heaving, muscled chest. Waking up too soon in the morning, head pounding and limbs aching, scrambling out of bed as silently as possible to switch over to the bed he'd been supposed to sleep in before anyone could wake up.

That had been the second leg of the tour, the first one being a blurred haze of stumbling and vomiting that was hard to remember. But all in all, this first leg had been closer to the second leg than the second leg was to the situation now. Because he was home.

Home, after weeks and months on the road, in tour busses, campers and cheap hotels were you could barely breathe and thought you had to go insane if you saw your band- or crewmates one more time. Home now was a taste both sweet and bitter, a strange place after all the times behind him. How things had changed during this year of almost permanent absence...

He splashed some water into his tired face, cold water to wake up his brain just enough for him to think clearly. Out of habit he'd left the door unlocked (even though he'd never do that on tour it seemed just right to leave this particular door unlocked), so he froze for a second when he could hear steps approaching. Then, a nervous smile spread over his face.

"I'm coming in a second," he called out quietly. One last look into the mirror, at his own face that seemed to have regained life despite all those months of strain. He pulled the sweater he'd just gotten from his closet - one of the few ones left at home, a particularly old and worn-out one in dark gray -, extinguished the lights and made his way towards the bedroom, almost stumbling tiredly on the way there.

He wouldn't be alone tonight.

In the second in which he'd asked the man whom he had grown to call his lover to quit his flight home, to stay with him at least for this one night, it had seemed like the most pathetic thing to say and had made him want to melt into the ground in shame. What he hadn't expected had been the radiant smile of agreement and the quietly added "I'd hoped you would ask".

Quite as it had been on tour Roel was wearing only boxers to bed. It appeared that he'd brought together all the blankets from somewhere in the flat to pile them up on the bed as a defence against the cold that resulted from the heating being out of order after having been switched off for too long. Two steaming mugs were placed on the bedside table, the room was dimly lit by warm, small lamp he'd forgotten was there.

"I made tea, hope that's okay with you" his lover said first thing, nodding towards the mugs. Ben had to laugh.

"How the fuck'd you find something to make tea with in this flat?" Roel shrugged.

"I looked. Closely. I mean I didn't have to look too closely because like, all your shelves are empty but it did take me a while to find something suitable, like, I can't make tea from vodka."

"Yeah you've got a point there," Ben answered, his smile freezing, seeming forced now. Roel sighed as he regarded him with a warm look and opened his arms.

"Come right here, you don't look like you can stand anymore."

As if on command he had to yawn deeply, stumbled to the bed and almost collapsed on it. He managed to scramble into his lover's arms and find a comfortable position with his head somewhere on the others' chest in which he could rest and relax.

The blinds were shut, whether he'd left them this way or whether Roel had closed them Ben couldn't recall. Rain was tapping against the windows from outside, creating a pattern of sound that was calming and keeping him from sleep at the same time. The warmth of another human body, the feeling of a steady heartbeat, calm breathing, made him feel safe and sheltered for the first time since - he could barely remember. The anxiety that had preceded this moment had faded completely.

"Hold on a second," he could hear Roel muttering against his ear. Sleepily opening his eyes he sat up in bed as he watched his lover reaching for the numerous blankets (some of which he was certain didn't even belong to him) to cover both of their bodies with them. One of them he wrapped around Ben's shoulders, who welcomed the warmth by pulling it even closer. As soon as they'd slid underneath the covers, though, he removed the tightly wrapped cloth from his shoulders to enclose Roel with it as well.

The other man smiled, as Ben could sense, and laid an arm around his shoulder while moving back into a lying position again. He pulled his lover close until his head rested, somewhat awkwardly, on his upper arm and halfway on his shoulder. But Ben made only a few adjustments to his position, drawing in his lover's scent with each deep breath. He was incredibly tired, yet thrilled enough not to fall asleep. This interaction wasn't draining him either, it was giving him energy even without sleeping. He closed his eyes.

The warmth provided by the blankets filled both of their bodies while the small tapping turned into the drumming of raindrops on the windows and the roof above them. The blinds rattled, shaken by a gust of wind. They listened as what had begun to sound like a storm calmed down, back to rather softly falling rain that gave laziness and peace of mind.

Roel could feels Ben's breathing on his bare skin. While absentmindedly caressing the other's palm with his thumb he tried to put himself into his place - for sure many things had changed in Ben's life since this tour had begun. Roel was not an egoist, but he knew that he had played a huge role in this change and he wanted more. He didn't want to leave this man again, didn't want it for his own sake. Being with him filled him with something that was more than contentment and warmth.

His attention wandered from his mind to the body he was holding. He knew that body by now, but tonight was wildly different. In the big bed - as compared to cruddy tour bus bunks - Ben appeared to be even skinnier, more fragile and helpless. But he was also more secure now, that he was back home. A fear that had until now always been with him seemed to have fallen from him.

His hand wandered over the other's back, slipping underneath his sweater. His skin was heated, it gave off warmth that radiated towards Roel. Ben was no longer cold, constantly shivering. Just as Roel began wondering whether he was still awake Ben's hand moved to come to a rest on Roel's hips, his fingers lingering there like a faint kiss. His other hand was put to Roel's chest, palm pressed against it not firmly but as weakly as it was usual for him. With his free hand Roel searched and found it.

He took Ben's hand into his, not removing it from his chest. With his thumb he began rubbing small circles on Ben's thumb while entwining their fingers. Ben gave a little, content sigh and Roel could feel him moving as he snuggled into the blankets and closer to his lover. He kept holding onto his hand.

At some point Roel let go of Ben's hand, dropping this kind-of barrier between them. Ben opened his eyes, blinked sleepily into the warm, orange light as if it hurt his eyes despite its dimness. He then wrapped the arm that had been resting on Roel's hips around his lover's back, effectively closing the space between them and simultaneously wrapping the blankets tighter. The warmth was still not uncomfortable.

Roel enjoyed having him so close, not because they had but because they wanted to. The nights they had shared had been thrilling, had been beautiful, no doubt, but this, he felt, was another level of closeness. They were too tired to undress now, maybe the rain and the warmth had made them lazy. They were just holding onto, leaning against each other, both finding solace in the other's presence.

The dripping rain only added to this solace. Roel could feel Ben's clothing under his fingers, if he wanted he could touch his soft, hot skin. Ben was - unknowingly imitating Roel's earlier movement - caressing a spot on Roel's lower back with circular movements of his thumb, continuous, gentle.

Their breathing was happening in unison now, and Roel liked to believe that their heartbeat was, too. He held his breath for two seconds to listen - what he perceived was one heartbeat. As he started breathing again, his breath assimilated to Ben's at an instant.

Roel pressed his face down, gently, into Ben's hair. It wasn't completely dry yet after the hasty shower he'd taken earlier, but it smelled of a shampoo that he assumed to be Ben's own instead of some hotel product. If he concentrated he believed he could - between the omnipresent coffee scent (and further, unpleasant ones) - smell musk. Musk shampoo. Ben's shampoo. He rarely wore his hair open except on stage, so this experience felt new to Roel. Ben's hair was soft, the light cast onto it bringing forth an intense ginger shine in it. When remembering his own days as a redhead Roel had to smile unwillingly. He ran his hand over and through Ben's hair before resting it between his shoulder blades again, shoulder blades that stuck out almost alarmingly.

But Roel did not worry, for in this moment there was no worry. He did not think of what lay behind or ahead, even though he knew that they would make it - what it was he didn't care to remember at this moment. And what he felt, first and foremost, was deep inner peace and a connection of some kind - a connection between their bodies, their souls, their hearts. A wave of warmth, of joy swept through his body and he had to laugh out loud, brightly.

A connection that made the term "lover" invalid all of a sudden.

"Hmh?" Ben blinked again, in a way that made Roel's heart bloom with love.

"Nothing, dear," he whispered as he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend.


End file.
